sometimes
my heart constricts
each beat
is a hard swallow
and feelings have to enter single file
one at a time please
make your offering and go
i will hide under the table
or in the sink
i am only brave enough
to offer my intangible presence
and be spoken to
in the softest tones
be seen
in the lightest whisper

at times like this
my head turns my heart over
looking for
that long narrow splinter
pick at the surface
is it too far gone
to extract
will i have to wait
days, years
until my body
spits out a foreign body
or did it just never exist at all

is it possible
to feel catharsis
over something that never happened
relief
when there never was injury